International Relations

Sitting together on a train, traveling through the Swiss Alps, are a French guy an American guy, an old Greek lady and a young blonde Swiss girl.

The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.

When the train emerges from the tunnel, the Frenchman has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks.

The old lady thinks: The Frenchman must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.

The blonde thinks: That Frenchman must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek.

The Frenchman thinks: The American must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.

The American thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can smack that Frenchman again.

Quote of the Week 1/29

God, it hurts to give You what I must lay down
But when I let go, freedom’s found
God, it hurts to give You what I’ve held so dear
Because of Your love it’s clear
I can trust You with this

Rebecca St. James; I Can Trust You (2005)

Happy New Year

Baby Got Book

XL

And Now... The Party May Begin.

Kitty Cat Watch it now on StupidVideos!

The Before Mentioned Kite.

Quote of the Week 1/22

The first question you will ask and which I must try to answer is this, 'what is the use of climbing Mount Everest ?' and my answer at once must be, 'It is no use'. There is not the slightest prospect of any gain whatsoever. Oh, we may learn a little about the behaviour of the human body at high altitudes, and possibly medical men may turn our observation to some account for the purposes of aviation. But otherwise nothing will come of it. We shall not bring back a single bit of gold or silver, not a gem, nor any coal or iron. We shall not find a single foot of earth that can be planted with crops to raise food. It's no use. So, if you cannot understand that there is something in man which responds to the challenge of this mountain and goes out to meet it, that the struggle is the struggle of life itself upward and forever upward, then you won't see why we go. What we get from this adventure is just sheer joy. And joy is, after all, the end of life. We do not live to eat and make money. We eat and make money to be able to live. That is what life means and what life is for.

George Herbert Leigh Mallory (1886-1924)

Let's Go Fly a Kite

With tuppence for paper and strings
You can have your own set of wings
With your feet on the ground
You're a bird in a flight
With your fist holding tight
To the string of your kite

Oh, oh, oh!
Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height!
Let's go fly a kite and send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite!

Marry Poppins (1964)


Materials required for building a kite:

Paper
String
2 Sticks
Glue
Scissors
Crayons for decorating kite
Box knife.
Blue Cross medical insurance ID card.

A skill I did not know I had: putting children into their car seats while I caudal my paper towel wrapped, bloody stump of a hand, after attempting to build a kite using a box knife.

The irony is the wound was only inches away from a scar I received the last time I stabbed myself in the hand with a knife. I don’t know how much a tuppence is but I would bet it is allot less than a co-payment to ones medical insurer.

A red sun rises, blood has been spilled this night.
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

The Lesson of the Day-

Always cut away, NEVER towards.

You 15 Minutes Are Up... 3... 2...1... Now.

(link)

"I started this lawsuit because I wanted to deal the final blow against the Church,"
Luigi Cascioli, a one-time seminary student.

Genius

It is as I have often suspected. What do you score (link)?

Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the Earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts and with no more brains than you have. But they have one thing you haven't got: a diploma.

The Wizard of OZ (1939)

Be Thou My Vision

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Got Milk?

Milk is for Babies Watch it now on StupidVideos!

American Idol

I have joked with my wife that if ever we were involved in a couples Trivia Pursuit competition I would be doomed. I would be obligated to having her as my partner; she is my wife after all. The problem is she knows little of pop culture (at least not the important stuff). I asked her if I could at least count on her for the literature questions.

"It depends on the literature."
"It depends? Did you not go to U of O majoring in Journalism and English?"

I have come across this show on television. Maybe you have heard of it, American Idol. I mention it now because in a previous post (last week) I made reference to Carrie Underwood. It appears that she was a major player in the show.

Who knew?

Truth be told I have never seen one episode.

"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults--unless, of course, you want the same treatment."

Matthew 7:1 The Message.

I am such an idiot.

Quote of the Week 1/15

Adam and Christ stand over against each other as the two great figures ... at the entrance of two worlds ... two creations, the old and the new ... and in their actions and fate lie the decision for all who belong to them, because all men are comprehended in them.

Herman Ridderbos

New Money

I suspect that redesigning the nickel is not the United States Mint's way of commemorating the Louisiana Purchase and Core of Discovery but rather a half hearted way of keeping up that wacky euro (link).

I Do Not Like Green Eggs and Ham

I do not like them Sam I am.

Link

Jesus Take the Wheel

I have started to listen to the country music lately. Partially due to the fact that my wife likes it and has set her clock radio to it so I end up listening to it in the mornings and I have come to enjoy the morning show personalities (Mike and Amy). I will say this about country music every once in a while along comes a song that will rip you’re heart out: Live Like You were Dying, Don’t Take the Girl, She Didn’t Have Time for example. Recently there is a new (at least to me) song that fits into this category: Carrie Underwood’s Jesus Take the Wheel.

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It would been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scaredShe threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all my own
I'm letting goSo give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh

I confess I am not at all in the habit of letting God take control. I am great at doing it when my life has turned to crap but not so much when things are going great.

My wife and I are great planners. We have a financial plan, vacation plans, meal plans, weekend plans… plans to plan etc. etc. etc. And things are going pretty good. That’s not to say we don’t face our share of difficulties but for the most part it’s nothing we can’t handle.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

It is my desire that I would acknowledge him in all my ways not just when things are going badly.

How To Tell When Your Food Is Spoiled

I did not come up with these although I have used (in my bachelor days) many of them; liquid lettuce is not good.

THE GAG TEST Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).

EGGS When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but you realize you've never purchased that kind.

MAYONNAISE If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.

FROZEN FOODS Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

EXPIRATION DATES This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.

MEAT If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

BREAD Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.
FLOUR Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.

LETTUCE Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid. (We didn't think you needed guidance with this one)

CANNED GOODS Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of. Carefully.

CARROTS A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.

RAISINS Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

POTATOES If it looks like it is ready for planting, toss it.

CHIP DIP If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.

EMPTY CONTAINERS Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you live with someone or have a maid.

UNMARKED ITEMS You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them.

GENERAL RULE OF THUMB Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in or nearby your refrigerator to gauge this.

Quote of the Week 1/8

The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on and individual level. It's got to happen inside first. You can take away a man's political freedom and you won't hurt him- unless you take away his freedom to feel. That can destroy him.

Jim Morrison 1943-1971

All Suspects Are Guilty... Period.

Otherwise they wouldn't be suspects, would they.

Link

I laugh every time I watch this

Quote of the Week 1/1

All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. This I did.

T.E. Lawrence (1888-1935)